The Hardest Part of Mediumship: Delivering Messages After Traumatic Deaths

Some of the most healing mediumship readings start with the words we least want to say out loud. When a loved one’s passing is traumatic, or when suicide and shock are part of the story, a psychic medium has to balance truth, privacy, and care without turning the session into a performance or a soft lie. I’m sharing how I deliver tough messages to clients, what happens when my “human” side wants to protect the sitter, and how I consciously step aside so spirit can speak clearly.

I walk you through a recent mediumship demonstration where I recognized the story immediately and chose to keep certain details high level. From there, I explain what I do when emotion rises in my body, why acknowledging it can actually make the channel cleaner, and how the message can shift from basic reassurance to something deeper: meaning, red flags, mental health themes, therapy, support, and the idea that pain can become purpose without minimizing the reality of grief.

Then I pivot to my psychic investigation class, where validation is often the biggest challenge. Using a case I know intimately lets my students see what accurate psychic investigation looks like, while also confronting the emotional weight of violence and loss. We end with the real question practitioners ask after sessions like these: how do we sleep at night, and what does spirit say about the bigger picture.

If you’re a developing medium, a working practitioner, or someone seeking spiritual healing after loss, this one will stay with you. Subscribe to Unity Code, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations. What part of a hard message do you struggle to hear or deliver?

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Nicole is an evidential medium and former corporate executive who blends data, systems, and spirit communication after her son began seeing the dead. She’s obsessed with exposing the hidden patterns and frequencies keeping you stuck, and recoding them so you can finally live the life your soul designed for you. She offers private readings, mentorship, and classes in mediumship, spiritual growth, and soul-aligned business. 

Click here to learn more & connect with Nicole: http://links.mediumnicole.com

Transcript

Why This Topic Feels Heavy

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Unity Code podcast. This is going to be a little bit of a heavier episode today. So I apologize in advance. I'm going to try to insert appropriate humor, humor, humor, humor, humor where I can. Even if that involves falling over my words like that. Because I want to talk about how I deliver really tough messages to my clients. We are talking more so in the mediumship space. So this is less maybe at a soul level, because when we're talking at a soul level, we're talking about like horrible fucking past lives, because newsflash, none of us make it out of past lives live, right? That's the whole point. We die in every single one of them. Those are a little bit easier to process and talk about because it is removed from your 3D experience, from your reality, from your memory bank, typically. And so those can be really hard conversations too. But more so today, I'm talking about mediumship. I am talking about two examples in particular, and I will talk about those more recently with a mediumship demonstration and also with a psychic investigation course that I led or class that I led with my students. Because the reality that is mediumship is that unfortunately we don't all go out in a very loving way surrounded by our family at old age. Sometimes deaths are traumatic and brutal and devastating. And sometimes they happen to us, and sometimes it happens by us. I'm gonna say it that way. And that's where a lot of heavy grief gets stuck as clients come to us in the very difficult death circumstances. Um and in today I'm gonna talk about, yeah, I'm gonna keep it there. I'm gonna talk specifically about the way that people transition out of this world into the spirit world. That is where I've seen at least the two examples today are gonna be about that topic. But, you know, there's obviously a whole myriad of difficult circumstances that can be hard to talk about. But I'm gonna talk about different difficult methods of passing and how I've handled them with my clients. Um, so let's give example number one. Oh God, from a medium recent mediumship demonstration, he's giving me the approval of the man on the other side who went through this uh and he's here, and I know he wants to talk about it a little bit with all of you as well. So, in a recent mediumship demonstration, I had very long story short, I had the the spirit that came through, I knew his story. Um, and I didn't let on in the room because they knew I knew the story, and I did not want to relay the uh the death to everybody else in the room because I feel like it was a little private, and I feel like the way that he brought it in purposely skirted around um what had happened. So I kind of covered it at a very high level with the people in the room and then kind of moved into the message that this gentleman wanted to bring forward for the guest of the demonstration. And the reason I knew this is because he had come through previously um with a woman in the last time that I did this demonstration. And I got a lot more gory details

A Demonstration With A Traumatic Death

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about his passing, his uh his death by suicide and the circumstances in which he did it, which was very brutal, um, the way he decided to go out, and how this young woman had found him that was living with him. Um and so, in this more recent demonstration, the woman who found him was there. She was not there previously, it was just the other person previously. Um, and so the woman that found him was in this demonstration. And I knew as soon as she came in, I was like, oh, he's gonna come through. And and it was such a sad, devastating story that can I be honest with you, I was like, I don't know how to handle that in front of a very big crowd. And so he knew exactly the right way to make me read him. Essentially, he came through in the middle of the reading before it with a pounding head pain, and the sitter couldn't take it. And I heard, oh, okay, so that would be the next spirit that's coming through, got it. And I, that's what they told me. I was like, okay, great. So then I immediately was like, so who died of the head trauma? And the girl raised her hand and I was like, oh fuck, it's this dude. No offense. I love you. It was a message that needed to be said. But those of you know, you know it can be really hard to read these, especially in a demonstration setting. And so we gloss over a little bit about um the things that I knew. We gloss over the fact that he died by suicide. We gloss over the fact that she found him, we gloss over the fact that they were living together. And then he was able to bring through some additional evidence, which was lovely, um, that I didn't know that helped me, you know, just validate with her about who I was with, you know, that she literally took care of him hand and foot, cooked his meals, didn't paid all the bills, all these different things. And so he brought through some other evidence as well, which is lovely. Um, and then we get to the part where the evidence flow just stops and the message starts. And like my human, just so you're all aware through this entire experience, is like, fuck this. Um, there are things that are unfair that humans have to go through. I I understand at a soul level, there's a whole different reason for what we go through. But me as a human is really feeling for this woman in the audience and really feeling for what she's been through. And I just really want to just give her this giant fucking hug and tell this guy to go fuck off because like what he did to her was, you know, in in the method of his passing. He, I'm gonna talk about it. Like he knew what he was doing. And so like I wanted to call bullshit on him and kick him out and get really angry with him. But, you know, part of our job as a medium is putting our own emotions and reactions aside and putting our human aside and realizing that we are the channel. And so that's exactly what I had to do here is I had to like in me as the human, I had to say this out loud in the demonstration because I knew and I was a little um distrusting, honestly, of the message that was about to come through because I wanted to make sure that my human, me, wanted to make sure that this woman left the demonstration, left this message from this gentleman feeling better and more healed and more complete. And so it's like I, my human, was trying to protect the woman in the audience as much as I could. So I had to say this stuff out loud that I was really upset, that I wanted to make sure that she felt okay, that um I can't believe what she's been through. I'm so sorry, right? So I had to have a little bit of human in there. And then I said, okay, now I'm gonna step aside and let him say what he needs to say. Right. And I needed to go through that process of bringing my human through first, personally, so that it would not come through as I'm relaying the message, just so that she knew where me as a human stood, as somebody who wants to support her, that feels for her, that wants to sympathize or sympathize with her. That's the wrong word. Um, that wants to be a human that wants to support her and then move aside. Like I had to go through that process because my otherwise it would have gotten in the middle of the reading and I wouldn't have been able to continue the reading. So that's like, I guess, tip number one is if you have these big human emotions, just acknowledge them. It's okay to acknowledge them. Don't stay in it, but let them flow through, get them out, and then move to the side and let spirit come through. Yep. And so as I stepped my I stepped my brain aside and let spirit really come through with this beautiful channeled message. You can't again, I'm saying all this as I'm distrusting the stuff that's coming out of my mouth as I'm channeling it from this gentleman. But he starts with the typical, I love you, I'm so sorry. Um, I didn't think about the consequences of this. And like in my brain, I'm like, okay, bud, sure, sure, you didn't think of the consequences. Um, but then also he started to talk about how it was really important that she go through this, and how he is so sorry, but this was part of the plan. And if I didn't get my human out of the way before I said that was part of the plan, you bet your ass it would have come out right then, right

Let Your Human Speak Then Step Aside

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in that moment, because I don't feel like it's appropriate to say that finding somebody in that condition is part of the plan. Okay. So just that was my little referee time out for a second there. So as I'm saying in relaying the words that this was part of the plan, he proceeded to say there is purpose in the pain that you are experiencing. And he goes on to say how she, through what she has been through, is uniquely equipped to help the people who are coming to her in the future. And she's uniquely equipped because she lived with this gentleman. She saw the red flags, she saw and witnessed his energy, his behavior, his emotions. Right. She noticed what she missed in the red flags that stated how much he needed help, but he didn't ask for it. He refused to ask for help. That was part of this message as well. And so she's able to see the themes in mental health issues and anxiety and depression that she did not take action on. And also, she walked in on something absolutely horrific and now is going through the process of working with a therapist to process what she experienced, what she's been through, what she's seen, what she had to go through and endure as a result of the circumstances and how he took his own life. Um and apologies if that's not the way I'm supposed to say that. Sorry, I'm not the best at the right words here. Um and so she's very well versed in kind of the before and the after, and knowing all of these different scenarios, all of these different perspectives, all of these different emotions and actions and what she's been through in this horrible ordeal. And so she is not somebody who is gonna sit in the depression, in the sadness. She's gonna be somebody that takes all of this energy that she's been through, all of the sadness, the frustration, the anger that she's sitting in as a result of what's happened. And she's gonna take that and she's gonna transmute that energy. She's going to take the pain that she has been through, and it's going to deliver her purpose in helping others through similar circumstances. She's going to be able to take the pain and turn it into her own purpose and healing for other people in similar circumstances. And so as he's relaying this message about how he is so sorry that he is the one who caused all this pain, he's saying, You will not waste this pain. It will be used to help and heal others. And he is so sorry that she is the one that has to do this, but it is how it is written. It is how they agreed before they both came here in this lifetime. How they agreed that this would happen. And how she would be an entirely different person because of this. And so you can see how deep and meaningful this message from this man was to this woman, and how fucking transforming it is. And how she already has the support structures in place, thank God, to help her navigate this very difficult circumstances, right? The therapy and her mom was there, and um, you know, the the right support structures. And so she has thank thankfully, oh my gosh, she's so smart, such a driven woman, um is able to receive this message in its entirety, in its beautiful fucking entirety from this man. And the only thing I needed to do was get out of the way and let him relay it. Because when I did, when I removed my human, my societally conditioned self out of the way of this message, he was able to deliver exactly what she needed to hear in that moment. Something that was bigger than a than an apology, because an apology wasn't big enough for her. She needed to understand the bigger picture and the purpose of what had happened. That is why she was there. And this is why it's so important when delivering these messages to your clients, to the people who need it, that you get your fucking human out of the way because spirit is so much smarter. They see so much more than we do, they see the bigger picture about why this person has ended up in front of you at this exact moment, and they don't know the exact words to say to help them move forward to heal to be where they need to be in this lifetime. Ernesto is on point. This guy is here. And so this is why we do what we do as mediums, right? And there's a few things that I like want to tap into here for a moment. Because number one, these clients wouldn't be in front of you. They would not be in front of you if you were not supposed to relay this message. They wouldn't be, right? Um, but also sometimes these clients are going to be in front of you because they just need the surface level message that's coming through. They just need the I'm sorry. They just need the I love you. And if that's what spirits is bringing through, you need to stay true to the messages that spirit is bringing through, no matter how light or how deep the messages are. Your job, again, is to get your human out of the way and be the clearest channel that you can be. And so that means if spirit is bringing through the light, I love you, stay at that level. If spirit is bringing through a fucking soul-level purpose, then you deliver the soul level deep message. You have to let spirit lead in these very difficult circumstances because our human will get in the way. We will bring our bias, we will bring our

Deliver The Message Without Softening It

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skewed perspective, we will bring our human that wants to love and nurture these souls, these beautiful, grieving people coming your way. We will want to handle them. Our human will want to handle them differently than how spirit will want to talk to them. And we have to realize that spirit knows better. So trust that the souls that are coming your way are meant to be coming your way. Trust that the messages that are coming through from spirit are exactly the level and detail that you need to relay to them. And that is absolutely 100% designed on purpose. And number three, know that if at any point you feel uncomfortable, it's okay to call that out. It's okay to say, I am so sorry about this message that I'm relaying to you. I'm so sorry that this has to go through you. But you need to make sure that you are not doing it in the middle of your reading and you are not watering down the message that spirit is giving you because that is not why you are here. You are not here. I'm so sorry, clients, to make your clients feel good. You are here to deliver the message as Spirit has outlined and given it to you. And so this is what I anchor to when I have really difficult readings. I anchor to the fact that they are here on purpose. Spirit has chosen me as the messenger. And then I just need to get the fuck out of the way. And at the same time, you know, after the session, recognizing how fucking hard that was, it was really fucking hard. And it's okay to bring your human in and like talk to your human and be like, it it you did a good job. That was really hard to deliver. Give yourself a fucking pat on the back. It's okay to do that. And it's okay to bring in the spirit afterwards and be like, dude, what the fuck? Or ask them to show you the impact of the message that you brought through. Because that's gonna be really important for you to understand why you had to relay a message in a certain way. And I'm as I'm talking, I'm also simultaneously talking to the spirit that that was in that reading. And I'm like, are you gonna tell me? He said, Not on the podcast, I'll tell you after. Not for public consumption, everybody. Um and so just to give another perspective, um I know. Sorry, let me say it differently. Just to double down on what I just said, I run, I've only run this twice because it's really close to home, but I run a psychic investigation class with my close students. Like I don't do this with strangers, I do this with people who I know come from very high integrity and very and who I trust and respect as well as they trust and respect me. Um, the reason why I don't do a psychic investigation class very often is because I only do one case. I do a case of the woman that I knew that was brutally murdered. Um, ding. Hey, girl. And she allows me, I ask her permission, and she allows me to use her story as the story for the psychic investigation course because I know so much, because I'm so close to what happened to her. I know what is not in the police reports, I know what is not in the records through the court, right? I know everything so much about this woman because I've known her for most of my life. Okay. Um, and so I use that case as an example because there is so much that

Teaching Psychic Investigation With Integrity

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people pull through in psychic investigations that they can't verify or validate. And me being able to do this case allows me to verify and validate pretty much everything that is coming through as the truth. So it's such a beautiful way for my students to build trust in the psychic investigation space, which typically is known for not being able to validate a lot of things. And I need them to walk into this work if this is something that they are used to and enjoy. Um I need them to walk into it knowing and trusting that they are really fucking good at it, right? And so I do that. So I use this case as an example and say, absolutely, you're getting literally everything right, like literally everything right. And that's what I did with my students when I ran this class most recently with this woman that I that I knew. And so, number one, if if you are my student in this class, you know how horrible that case is. Um, and the first time that I did this, it was really close to home. And being able to take something that is like so personal for me and like put it in a psychic investigation perspective where we're literally relaying the facts of all these things that happen. Um, first time it made me like sick to my stomach doing it. But this most recent time, it was really lovely because. Because again, these students know me, like they they trust me, they respect me. And a lot of them had read this woman before and had no idea this is what happened to her. Um and my student, my amazing fucking student Danra, I think closed it up and asked the right question at the right time. Because she asked, like, how do we get our human out of this? Like, how do we move away from the fucking horrible thing that happened to this woman and sleep tonight? And it was such a good question. And so I brought her in and I channeled her and I was like, I need you to answer this question. Because obviously she's in the spirit world. Obviously, she's fine. Obviously, she's already been through in a lot of these readings with my students to practice with me. Um, and so oh, there she is, she's calling. So freaking funny. Hang on. I'm getting I'm getting summoned by the spouse. He's one of the few people that can come through, break through my wall. Um uh I'm not gonna stop and I'm not gonna edit this out. I'm so sorry. It's just what I do. Um he can break so like the husband and the kids can break through my my do not disturb. It's it's mildly annoying. But you know, it is what it is. And so, see, we're just bringing in humor, bringing in humor in the middle of this episode. And so as my students are kind of walking away from the session, I I channeled my girl on the other side. And I'm like, how do you want to answer this? How do you want to answer the fact about how do we sleep at night? God. And she she didn't say this, but I'm hearing her in my head now. Like it was part of her soul contract, so she did, in fact, sign up for this. And also because of who she was, and you know if you know, she said if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else. And she would have gladly done it again, knowing that she would save somebody else from what happened to her. Double ding from her. And so this is what I'm talking about about being able to do the work and being now it's the second one calling. Ding ding ding.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

We're getting two calls along with the two stories from the dead today. So this is great. Just spirit

How Do You Sleep Afterward

SPEAKER_01 24:50

on point. She'll probably call back in a minute, so I better wrap this up because she will.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Um, so this is what I'm talking about about um understanding the bigger picture with these things. That even though, you know, at a soul level we may understand, we may understand the bigger picture, it can be so interesting to understand also that at the lower level, the pain is real and rely on spirit to give you the message that you need to move through and process this for yourself, for your clients, for everybody. And so that's how I do it. I trust that spirit is coming through for a reason. And I trust that the messages that I need to be relayed are exactly the messages that need to be relayed. And so that is the most beautiful part about working with spirit is the trust in the healing that they're meant to do. I hope that's helpful. Sending you love, let me know how you're processing this and if you have any questions. Take care.